Barbieshop

His mid-life crisis
was as predictable
as his male pattern baldness
each time his hairline
receded another inch
the age of his current companions
dropped a decade

as things go
by this calculation
were he to get hair transplants
he would have to start dating
my dead grandmother.

Be nice to girls in kindergarten
I told my then 8th grade son
if your scalp
is like your fathers'
those girls may
turn out to be
the mothers
of your future
girlfriends.